Monday, October 15, 2007

I Had My Popcorn Ready

The NFL Bye Week. Does a fan ever feel more like a fish out of water than when your getting ready for the NFL weekend, and your team isn't even playing? Instead I had the consolation prize of the match-up of two 5-0 teams, the Dallas Cowboys against the New England Patriots. Or as the media dubbed, "Super Bowl 41.5". An asinine phrase I hope to never hear again. And something, I might add, that if there is any justice is this cold world, will equate to neither of these teams making the Super Bowl.

All week it was the fodder of the talking heads and pundits. T.O. leaves a note on his locker, explaining he will not be talking to the media. This is headline news, and is debated indefatigably (that took me about 5 tries to spell right and spell-check had no idea what I was talking about, by the way). Owens versus Moss. 81 versus 81. This was force feed to me all week long, when all I wanted to see was highlights from some college ball games or whether or not the Rockies game was going to be rained out.

But, of course, I tunned in. This is because, like the sad pathetic fan that I am, the sports industry has me hook, line, and sinker. I even made some popcorn.

The first problem of the headlining match-up was whom to root for. I should say that usually I don't have this problem, as mostly I'm gearing up for a Steelers game, and when I'm watching another game it's for entertainment. But seeing as this was "the game" I figured I should be in one corner or the other. Now according to logic, as an AFC team fan, I should be pulling for the NFC team to win in any cross conference match-up. I understand this, however there is one underlying problem. The Cowboys are utterly unlikable. Not untalented. With all the problems Owens had created in the past, he's still a great receiver. And begrudgingly I'll admit that Tony Romo is actually quite a promising young QB. But still, completely unlikable. A lot of which comes less from the actually players, then the franchise. I haven't forgotten Super Bowl XXX.

And then there is the Patriots. Again, talented, of course. But likable, not at all. As stated earlier, I'm not going to root for an elite AFC team. And then there is the entire videotaping scandal that unfolded a month ago. Not to mention that they have eliminated the Steelers in the AFC Championship game twice in the last 6 years.

In other words, if I rooted for the Patriots, my family would disown me. And rightfully so.

So anyways, I find myself watching a game I fully know is completely over hyped, between two teams I absolutely despise. Like I said, the sports industry owns me. The best I can hope for here is an injury filled battle that ends in a tie. Maybe a 0-0 tie. That would be embarrassing for both sides. I'm imagining the old NFL films clip where someone fumbles at the goal line and 3 or 4 players try to pick it up or fall on it in the endzone, but it rolls out of bounds. If you too were raised on NFL films tapes then you know what I'm talking about (and if you remember the teams, leave them in the comments, it's killing me). If you weren't raised on NFL films then I'm just rambling. Or you probably quit reading 3 paragraphs ago. Whatever. Sixty-five toss power trap.

Either way, no luck. Not surprisingly, it actually turns into a shootout. And also not surprisingly, the Patriots pretty much have the game from the coin flip. Sure both teams were undefeated, but it doesn't take a genius to tell you the Pats and much better than the Cowboys. Touchdowns are had by all, numerous annoying Peyton Manning commercials are quickly muted, and by the time the game has reached its dying throws I'm still more interested in whether or not the Colorado Rockies game is going to be rained out or not.

Oh, NFL bye week, you are a cruel one.