Friday, November 2, 2007

Barry Bonds opting out of Hall of Fame

Congratulations my friends, we kind of fell into it backwards, but our wish has been granted.

Hold on, let's back up a step.

If somehow a genie popped out of that bobblehead that resides on the desk/dresser/dashboard of every baseball loving fan in America, and granted two wishes (1), immediately after being granted the 2008 World Series to his or her favorite team, I'd bet a good number would probably wish for the whole Barry Bonds ordeal to have just never happened. Well congratulations, your wish has been granted. Kind of. So now feel free to waste that second wish on landing A-Rod or maybe season tickets. Because Bonds may have done himself in, that is, at least as far as the Hall of Fame goes.

You probably remember the story. In fact, I guarantee you do. It was reported on every sports show, blog, morning program, and news outlet in the nation. In an incredible act of democracy, and a good deal of self advertisement, a certain designer purchased the Barry Bonds 756 ball, and left it up to you, yes the people, as to what fate it would have. And what did you decide? Well of course, brand that bad boy with an asterisk and FedEx it first-class to the hall of fame.

Well guess what? Turns out Bonds wasn't exactly thrilled with the whole process, and he says he's going to boycott the hall of fame if his record breaking ball is astriskized (2). Now I think you see where I'm going with this, and it only took a couple hundred words and a bad example involving a slightly less talented baseball genie.

The Hall of Fame, which actually has no association with professional baseball, and is thus not under the hand of badly dressed and incompetent Bud Selig, accepts the home run ball. Hey, its free, and everyone loves free stuff. And following procedure, Bonds throws a public hissy fit. I mean he's certainly done it before.

But then will he stick to his guns? Is he really going to turn down an invite to Cooperstown?

I don't see why not. Let's not forget that in the past Mr. Jon Dowd also opted out of the Major League Baseball Players Association's licensing agreement. In fact, he's all about doing stupid stubborn things and sticking to them. Like how he had his self promoting ESPN series canceled due to "creative control" issues. Or even how he has continuously denied any ties to performance enhancing drugs, despite leaked grand jury testimony in which he's stated the opposite.

So if all this works out according to my plans, you can take that second wish and go ahead and use it how ever your heart may desire. Though I'd probably avoid A-Rod, that guys a locker room cancer. Even Peter Gammons doesn't like him.

1 see, in this theoretical example bobble-head genies are slightly less powerful than lamp genies. yeah, blows, doesn't it

2 i just made it up, but, hey, it could be a word.

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