It Promises Lots of Words and No Pictures

When not making cheap cracks about Peter Pocklington on Twitter, or watching George Laraque's Octane alcoholic-energy drink commercial, I sometimes actually write about hockey. Usually no one reads those. Understandably, they're longer than 140 characters and they don't have videos of scandalously hot women stretching.

However, if your in the mood and were wondering just what those Providence Bruins of the AHL were up to these days, why not buckle up and take a ride down the information super highway to Hockey's Future. Why, it's as easy as clicking this link. Or this one.

Or even this one: Providence Bruins 2009-10 Preview

Oh George Laraque, now you have gone too far.

Since you are reading this on a computer, I can safely assume you are sitting down. And that's a good thing, because you'll need to be for what I'm about to tell you. So that means if your one of those weird people with standing or treadmill desks, stop being so damn smug and just take a seat.

Georges Laraque has appeared in an advertisement for an alcoholic beverage that ... (gulp)... exploits women to sell its product.

Yes, it is true, and the powers of Youtube even have the video so we can all watch this senseless exploitation, perhaps multiple times. You know, just to fully understand how distasteful it is.

[go ahead, just stop reading the article and scroll down to end to watch it]

Okay, so it's not exactly the first time a commercial for an alcoholic beverage has flaunted beautiful women as means to make its product appealing. But I myself can tell you through firsthand research that, while cracking open a cool one might be refreshing as you sit down to take in a game at the end of a long day, it does not, as the commercials may hint, make my television room overrun with smoking hot biddies.

I think we can also safely assume that Flo-max is used by guys that aren't always out on white-water rafting or at a ball game with fellow aging brosephs. And I seriously doubt anyone ever has used one of those outside tubs I always see on commercials between innings of a baseball game, for guys whose peeps are on the fritz.

It's commercials people. They lie, but only mostly because they're expected to.

But, okay, yes, I have to agree that this commercial is definitely at the far end of the extreme. It goes further than most that just coyly employ a girl way too hot to be a bartender explaining why this particular brew is superior. But it's the one-minute cut, by the time it actually airs it'll be cut down to 30 seconds.

And lets be honest, your just going to fast-forward through it anyways.

The Canadian Press - Laraque assailed for sexist-deemed ad

Bourque To Open Season in NHL, Just Not For the Caps

Yesterday morning Chris Bourque thought he was going to be a member of an NHL roster for opening day tomorrow. And today, well, he is going to be on an NHL roster, just not the one he had thought.

Bourque, son of hall-of-famer Ray Bourque, was drafted 33rd overall in the 2004 draft by the Washington Capitals and has spent 4 seasons with their AHL affliate, the Hershey Bears. Monday morning Capitals head coach Bruce Boudrea informed Chris he had made the NHL squad by coyly asking him if he wanted to have dinner at his fathers house in Boston, the location of the Capitals season opener on Thursday night. Instead, Bourque will be on the home bench in Pittsburgh as the Penguins raise their 2009 Stanley Cup banner before their opener with the New York Rangers.

With the intent to open up some salary cap space and perhaps pick up some players off the waiver wire themselves, the Capitals placed Bourque on waivers Monday night. The team wasn't planning on demoting him to the AHL roster, they only needed to take his cap hit off the books for a day. Most teams passed on Bourque, but the Penguins, one of the later teams in the waiver order, and Washington's top rival, claimed him for their NHL roster. The transaction is bound to tweak the already cold relationship between the two franchises who meet last May in the second round of the playoffs, going 7 games before the Penguins advanced.

The Penguins and Capitals won't meet until January 21st, the first of 4 eventual regular season match-ups this season.

Bourque's Wait Is Over, as Left Wing Makes Caps Roster - The Washington Post
Penguins Claim Bourque, Lose Bissonnette - Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Penguins Fans Refuse to Tone It Down

The Penguins new "Defy Ordinary" ad campaign, apparently brought to you by the same people that make those ridiculous Miracle Whip spots.

Defy Ordinary.


We Are Miracle Whip, And We Will Not Tone It Down

Arizona Hates Gretzky; North Dakota Indifferent

Much like drinking milk, clicking this image will make it grow big and strong